Follow up at Neurosurgery Dept at HKL

TOday was the first and last follow up at the Neurosurgery dept in HKL. The doctor said that as far as Neuro dept is concerned, Dad's condition is stable. The blood from the ruptured vessel would have diffused. Blood pressure under control. Th only thing is the dementia has gotten worse, mood swings have heightened, so this will fall under Geriartric section to follow up. I tell you , these bloody government doctors. Get to work by 8am, Dad's appointment was at 830am and they want to go off for coffee break already. Sheesh.

Physiotherapy follow up #2 HKL - 24 November 2015

Dad went for his second physio follow up at the hospital today. I explained to the physio that while he has been gaining strength, his coordination has been poor. She recommended that he did more stretching exercises as his muscles are always tense which make movement harder.

Today we did purely hand stretches and some standing up (about 5 times). There were many MAHSA students on their internship today and naturally Dad was a guinea pig, which I am not complaining as I also learn together with them on how to handle him.

They recommended 3 stretches: (looks like the knowledge I learnt during my Personal Training Certification is coming back into use again)

1. Passive stretching: Dad lies down on the bed and we place one hand on his shoulder and the other hand on his wrist and roll it back and forth like a rolling pin.

2.Overhead stretches lying down - get him to extend his arm all the way back while lying down

3. Proprioceptive neuromuscular facilitation - Get Dad to sit at the edge of the bed, with both hands by his side, Sitting upright, chest opened up, get him to press his palms against the bed.

Feeling kind of flat out today, signing off.

For Someone Who Didnt Want Children... sigh- 18 November 2015

Dad learnt to stand up a bit yesterday and the nurse assisted him a little bit to try to scoop food with his right hand.

Today we had our first follow up physiotherapy session at the hospital. The doctor said that while Dad has some mobility and a good range of motion, he lacks coordination. She made him get up and lie down a few times - things he needs to learn to do on a daily basis by himself. She also made him cycle with for 15 minutes at Level 2 resistance and hand cycle at Level 1 resistance for 15 minutes. As he was unable to hold and grip the handle with his right hand, she had to strap him right hand on.

She also made him move stacked cones one by one from the right to left. I need to look for children's toys which teach you hand coordination. Or if I cant find any I guess I have to improvise. It is then that I realised also I need to be equipped at all times as a mother to a child - ensuring I have tissues, wet tissues, water etc with me wherever I go and whenever I am with Dad.

Life's ironic isn't it? For someone who didn't want to have a child nor have the burden and responsibility of doing these things.

And of course, shit always happens. A million and one things to do and the key had to break in the backdoor and poor Caramel is locked out. Managed to call a locksmith but they charged a frigging RM100 for house call. Well I haven't much choice as I needed to get it done quickly.

My ambition is to be lazy but I guess God is not putting up with any of that nonsense. I still wonder why He thinks I am a good candidate at all to do any of His work.

Finding Grace - 11 November 2015

It was a mad sort of day.Went to the gym as usual. Came home, sent Mom for a haircut, had my brekkie, hung the laundry, picked Mom up , then helped her to clear the dining area to convert to a bedroom. Just as I was clearing the old stuff, bro calls me to tell me that they were conducting physio at the hospital at that moment. And as the caregiver, I needed to go in to observe.I dropped what I did and immediately rushed to the hospital...only to be stuck in good ol' KL jam. By the time I got to the hospital, physio was over, and it wasnt visiting hours yet. I wasnt allowed to hang around the ward, so I went to the cafeteria for a drink. Went back during visiting hours, and found that Dad had had his meal. I was nicely surprised that he had consumed quite a lot of his lunch..I thank Fahmi the male nurse who looked after him.. he is a real gem, a really nice and patient guy. We've always thought that women are better caregivers, but I think male nurses are a lot more patient.

So after visiting hours, I went back to the cafeteria again, and rushed back for the physio. Yesterday dad still could not lift up his right hand or moved his right leg much and today he made remarkable progress! he was able to lift up his right hand and straighten his right leg, although bending it he needed some assitance. He was also able to turn right and left while he was on the bed. He was able to stand up with some assistance as well. I thank God that he has made progress so quickly. Now the trick is to keep him going at it.

Meanwhile, bro was looking for nursing homes where we could check Dad in while we renovate the room. Yesterday when we went for dinner at a kopitiam at Jalan Ipoh, we happened to walk by a Stroke nursing home. I believe this is the providence of God. So brother went to check the place out today, plus another one in Damansara Perdana. The latter looked a bit miserable and run down, and the former was fully occupied. But he found out that they have another branch close to our home! It was a "coincidence" that God had led us to that kopitiam, which led us to that nursing home, which led us to the one near our home! He sent me pictures of the home and it looked really nice, clean and plush. In fact, I'd say that Dad would have better living conditions than me!

The other good thing is that i have been so tired, that every night I just completely knock out and get uninterrupted sleep. In fact I sleep better now than on normal days. I thank God that I am not having sleepless nights but instead am able to sleep very well.

It's been a long tiring day. But today I feel like I can smile and crack jokes. As mentioned in Peanuts, “Every time you find some humour in a difficult situation, you win.”

I may have graduated from the University of Western Australia, but really it is the University of Life that has taught me so much more.

Getting a grasp of things - 10 November 2015

Despite sleeping only at 2am I decided to go for my usual run at 7am. I've decided that despite having to make adjustment and changes in my life, I still need to have a semblance of my normal life. I need to stay sane. Gosh, Lord. Everything happened in a blink of an eye. So much growing up to do, so little time. So many things to plan for I dont even know where to start. We visited Dad at the hospital at 1230pm. To our surprise, they had removed the feeding tube and the remark above his bed was that he was allowed to be given food orally. Hallelujah! That is good news. It's the saddest thing if one cannot eat and enjoy their food anymore. As usual he was being his stroppy self, complaining about the nurses and all that. I feel so sad sometimes that he wants to strike a conversation with us, but half the time we cant understand a word he is saying and instead have to change the subject and talk about things he likes. It's frustrating for him and for us when we cant understand each other.

So many things we need to think about: 1. converting space downstairs for a room 2. clearing the space downstairs 3. getting a bed 4. getting wheelchairs 5. getting proper ventilation/air cond 6.installling mosquito netting 7. ensuring bright lights 8. installing water heater 9. getting day and night nurses

There are many changes that need to be done. Adjustment in our lives.We were told that once patients have stroke they are susceptible to pneumonia therefore need clean air. They are also susceptible to depression therefore we need to make the place bright

Lord, I dont have any strength. I have to remind myself that I can do this on Your strength.

We went back and later went to visit Dad again at 5.30pm. When we arrived, sis was feeding Dad and it was such a heartwarming picture. The whole family was there except Thean Yew and Loong who were at home because they were in the middle of exams. Dad looked so much happier! Family is so important. OHANA.

I know today is only the second day. SO far, aside from some weepy moments I guess I am ok..at least I think I am. I cry in my private moments but I need to be strong. Especially for my mom.I have seen her tearing sometimes. I'm usually known to be panicky but surprisingly I am able to keep calm. Maybe the reality hasnt set in. Maybe I have matured? Or maybe there are so many things to be done and looked into that I cant mope about it.

I think we can pull this together as a family. We can make it through if we have each other's support.

I guess this is why I am single. Come to think of it, this is only the beginning of things. After Dad, I have Mom to worry about too. I'm looking at the next 10 years of my life that is going to be so challenging. Is this a result of having such a cushy life for most of your life?

It's funny how majority of the time I have a negative outlook in life...but when dealt with adversity I have a more positive outlook. Not that I am Miss Sunshine, but it's accepting the reality and thinking, I HAVE to manage this, come what may.Sometimes you just have to take it on the chin.

My Dear Lord, I need You more than anything else.I do. Please help me.

A new phase in life - 9 November 2015

Things can change in a blink of an eye. I took Mom and Dad with Jon for dinner at TGIF's on Sunday night...Dad ordered prawn fettucine, and he thoroughly enjoyed his meal.What I didnt know was that that would have been his last meal that he would be able to feed himself.

On 9th November, Monday morning, I went out to the gym as usual in the morning. When I came back, the hall lights were not switched on, which was unusual as Mom usually would be awake. Giving the benefit of the doubt I thought perhaps both my parents could have been very tired and just got up late. As I was preparing breakfast,Mom just came down and told me that Dad couldnt get up. I went up to see him and he was sleeping.I thought it could have been one of his episodes where he didnt sleep well and therefore didnt have the strength or energy to get out of bed.

So I went to work as usual. While I was at work, something rang a bell and I thought , perhaps he could have had a stroke? I called my brother and he said he would go and see him later. He did, and called me to tell me that he did a few tests on dad, when he asked him to smile there was no sign of sagging on one side. he also asked him to raise his arms..while he couldnt raise his right arm, he did show some movement, so my brother said he didnt think he has stroke. Somehow I had this nagging feeling.. perhaps you dont need all the symptoms to show that you have stroke, jsut anyone would do. We discussed this and decided we should send him to the hospital to pre-empt any serious damage.

I called Hospital Kuala Lumpur (HKL) to ask how about to get an ambulance. It would have been difficult for my brother and i to carry down Dad on our own, especially when Dad is not able to move himself or get up at all - he was not even able to sit up on his own. HKL told me to call 999, which we did. When my brother called 999 he was directed to HKL again, and had to answer 1001 questions about Dad and his symptoms before they would despatch an ambulance. Finallly after waiting for 30 minutes, an ambulance arrived. To our shock they said they were from PPUm and they were going to send Dad there. We told him that this cannot happen as Dad's records are all in HKL and besides, we had made arrangements with Dr Ngau to receive him there. They told us that that is how it works, when you call 999, they will direct to HKL which manages all the emergency cases and they will allocate the cases according to area. So happens our area falls under PPUM. They were unable to send Dad to HKL as they are under orders to send only to PPUM and should they do otherwise, they will be questioned.

Then the paramedic told us that there were 3 options we could do: 1.They send Dad to PPUM 2. They help us to carry him into our own car and we take him ourselves 3. Call for a private ambulance

For option 2 he said that first he needed to assess Dad's situation to see if it's possible for us to take him in our car as it is risky. After assessing Dad's condition, he found that his BP was too high and that he was in a state of confusion as he didnt even know where he was. He also took his blood glucose level which was 5.7 (normal). So we had no choice but to call for a private ambulance which costed us RM250.

The private ambulance took about 2 hours to arrive. When we called, they were making other trips and told us they could only be at our place in 1 hour. But due to the jam, and they also lost their way, it took them a good 2 hours to arrive. Finally they arrived after a long wait and we were on our way to HKL.

By the time we arrived, it was 7pm. The doctor informed that they needed to do a CT SCAn and also some blood tests to determine what the problem was. Finally, the result showed that there was a burst vessel in Dad's brain which cost some bleeding. Although the bleeding was minor, about 1cm long, it affected the right part of his body and his swallowing reflex. That meant he has difficulty in swallowing, with high susceptibility to choking, and that could cause the food to go into his lungs instead. As such they needed to insert Ryles tube into his nostril to feed him via the nostril.

By the time we got him warded in the Neuro ward, it was about 1.30am and by the time we got home it was 2am. what a long day it had been.